just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
