3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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