Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm always down for nudity.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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