Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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