so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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