nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
