i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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