4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
