Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
