Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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