i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
