Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Are we in a gay sports bar?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
