YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
