I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
