He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
