Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
