I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
