the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
