The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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