I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
