yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
