Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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