it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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