Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
