Well apparently he's into motor boating.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
