My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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