You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
