69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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