So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
