I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm having to shit out rocks
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