I could have mohawked her pubes.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
