So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
