I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we made out on top of his cat.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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