You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just cut my nipple shaving
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
