Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
