He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
