Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
