We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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