She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
