dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
