dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This baby is an asshole
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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