tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
