hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
