I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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