I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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