Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize