I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
