Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
