I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
