dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
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