Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
why do cheetos always look like penises
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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