Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
